Posted on 11/9/2011 1:28 PM by Debbie Designer

Before you read this:

So as it turns out detective work, just like pimpin', ain't easy. Our day of reckoning for a random selection of Greenbuild exhibitors is still coming but we've got a bit more work to do first.

Go ahead. Throw all the Harold Camping jokes at me you can think of. I can take it.

In the meantime, I thought I'd distract you from my tardiness by putting someone else in front of the firing squad. That's right. Today, I shall take aim at the very people who offered me this soap box: magazine editors.

Enjoy!

Hugs & Kisses,

DD

Who was it who decided a headline had to be punny? I bet they also casually said "Bad-dum-ching!" or flipped out the old gun and wink in conversation and never thought twice of it. A gun and wink I put up with. I can at least grasp the irony. But like the  sweet, sweet icing on a formulaic editorial cake, the headline pun is just a bit too much.

Here's a sampling I found during a recent, self-loathing-spurred perusal of some common design publications (sources to remain nameless):

-- Praise the Bar

-- Gilt Trip

-- Well Red

I think you can pretty much get what these stories were about, and start to feel a general sense of nauseousness come over you. But my favorite find was not one, but two dangerously similar headlines that came out in July: King of Clubs, about a club designer, and Ace of Clubs, about a well-designed club. It's just uncanny.

I am very fond of wordplay, so there's some odd semblance of respect lingering in the back of my mind for these headline writers. But at this point, a pun headline is a creative cop out the way an oversaturated close-up of flowers on a side table is a cop out. Been there, done that. It's just too easy.

To prove it, I'll make up some headlines right now off the top of my head:

-- Mind over Platter - a taste of this year's best tableware!
-- Earth, Wind, and Fire - a farm house with modern fireplaces!
-- Cast Away - a seasonal look at cast iron outdoor furniture!
-- Stool Samples  - a  round-up of - ok, hold the phone. Maybe that one's a little off. But that's the price you pay for doing a rapid fire brainstorming, people! Get with it. This is a headline factory I'm operating in here, not some touchy, feely, tap into the power of words group session.

What if disgusting double entendres is the next wave, you know? It's about time this industry devolved into toilet humor. (At least Kallista would be happy.) Stick with me and you'll make millions.

But seriously, aren't we ready for a change in the formula? Right now we're all faxing article information to each other, and it's about time someone invented email. So, who's ready to step up to the plate? I'll be keeping my eyes out for you.